Begin the goodbyes
...written on 10.23.01, @ 1:21 a.m.
"And so begins the week of goodbyes. . ." Ivan's voice would have sounded almost ethereal if it weren't for the strain of choked tears behind it. Slouched in the dark nook of the backseat, Ivan waved sayonara to Yuko-chan and Mama-san at Bizen. He had already hugged Yoko-chin farewell inside the little Japanese bar and I was certain the oval faced man was now inside crying in his sake-laced oolong tea.
I felt a knot in my own throat as well, as the tears gushed out of my eyes. I turned my head towards the diamonds of rain bedecking the side car window and slapped the evidence off my cheeks. I sighed silently, knowing that this was just the beginning, or really, just a continuance of the many goodbyes in my life.
Watching Ivan go will be difficult. I will miss his warmth and spontaneity and downright goofiness. I shall long for his stories of bravery and cheekiness in the classroom. I will crave his advice and insight. I won't be seeing his tall lanky form ducking under low doorways or folding itself up into the backseats of compact cars, or posing for photgraphs in Nagoya Station while pretending to be drunk and laying on the floor with a tipped beer can. Ivan makes me laugh easily and I have enjoyed him so very much during the one year we've spent together.
I've been collecting things for him. As he's mentioned things that he would like to get, I've been acquiring them for him and squirreling them away. I've got a miniature set of colored pencils that was stuck on a higher priced box of mini discs that he couldn't afford to buy, but that I bought instead. He said he wanted the emblems mandated for use on the cars of new drivers and older aged drivers to use on his truck when he got back to the States and I've got them waiting in a package that I am going to give to him tomorrow after he gives his goodbye speech to the company.
I also have a toilet roll dispenser that is meant to carry an extra roll of toilet paper underneath the regular dispenser. The material is the tan, black, white and red striped Burberrys of London pattern that is so popular here in Japan. Ivan didn't ask for it specifically, we've just had many a laugh over it and last February, as a joke, I almost outfitted his girlfriend with a Burberrys bra and panty set knock off.
The coupe de grace in the going away package though, is the Burberrys scarf itself. I got it last Winter and have been hoarding it ever since. I think it will be a nice reminder of Japan.
I admire Ivan so much and this week of goodbyes is going to be really tough.