Shoot the Hostage
...written on 05.22.02, @ 2:01 p.m.
#3 of 3 posted on:
Wed May 22, 2002
I have been feeling kinda blue lately. Well, it's that time of the year actually, contract renewal time. It's time to decide if I want to stay in Japan for another year after my current contract expires in October. The contract negotiation process hasn't been a bed of sushi either. I have been in an emotional mental turmoil. This turmoil has made me change my mind on various points of negotiation. How could I deal with this indecision?
The other day I got a clue when I was watching "Speed" with Keanu Reeves and Sandra Bullock, for the first time. In an early scene, K. and his buddy were in an elevator shaft talking about dangerous scenarios and "what do you do if . . .". Keanu said that if he were confronting a criminal holding a hostage that he would shoot the hostage. I kind of flinched when I heard that and hoped that I never had to encounter myself as a hostage in such a situation with Mr. Reeves.
Then it struck me that I've been feeling like a hostage lately, all bound, gagged and immobilized. I took a look at what my gag and bindings were made of and saw hurt and anger. I then examined the entity before me that put them there and realized it was my old nemesis, Jealousy.
So, I shot 'em. I shot them all. I exposed all of my hurt, angry and jealous feelings and shot every one of them. Zap, zap, zap, zap. I had to laugh as I felt the fetters fall. I had been in a cage of my own making. Now with those distracting feelings out of the way, I could see the issues more clearly and the heavy weight in my head and chest disappeared. I've signed up for another year and I am making some ambitious vacation travel plans!
Now wasn't that so Rationally Emotively Theraputic of me?