Teleintruders
...written on 07.13.02, @ 2:16 a.m.
Sat July, 13 2002
It is almost 2 a.m. I really am tired. Sleepy! Lately however, I have found it very difficult to, even in the deepest throes of "lunge-to-the-futon-ness" to tear myself away from whatever I am doing to engage in my nightly prepare-for-futon ritual.
Today I have a couple of excuses. I still haven't found the bat. It may be long gone, but yesterday I slept a mere 6 hours (a very puny amount for me) that was cut in half by me standing straight up in the middle of my futon and shrieking at what I thought to be a bat cystallizing in beach sand sized granules on my sheets.
The other thing causing my "I-don't-wanna-go-to-bedness" is my oozing wound. Gross, I know. I just took off the gauze and it isn't a pretty sight and I have to rewrap it before I go to bed and I am too tired to do it! I got this wound when the bat chased me out of my apartment yesterday and I scraped it along the cement wall outside, which still bears the trail of skin from the accident. Ugh, my arm hurts and it's gooey and icky. Where is my MOMMY?!
I told the folks at work about my little incident. My boss asked me:
"Was it a surprise for you?"
What, a bat appearing out of no where in the middle of my apartment at midnight, how could that be a surprise?
and
"Did you scream?"
"I screamed like a mother-fucker", I said. I didn't really mean to say the last bit, but I did.
Not that anyone really heard me scream. I live on the third floor and out of 5 apartments, only two were occupied at the time. I'm sure Obata-san was asleep, yet I did yell quite loud. Perhaps my upstairs neighbors heard me. Someone's cat did, that's for sure.
Anyway, the Japanese are usually pretty good about minding their own business, too good in some cases (see Japanese Mauls), and then we have the OTHER kind.
The other kind engage in such repudiated behavior as I experienced the other morning at 7:30 am. My cell phone rang, and shaking off the last vestiges of a too short slumber, I reached for the phone and noticed that an unidentified cell phone number was calling me. I said a groggy "Hello" and was treated to a by now familar female voice saying "moshi, moshi" in an irritating monotone voice. "Hello?" I repeated and when I heard the "moshi, moshi" again, I hung up. I had been awakened by a telephone sex service . . .
And NO, I didn't order it! . . .
It's the latest scam in Japan. They do it a couple of ways. They'll either call your phone and let it ring once and hang up, hoping that you'll use the redial feature and call back or they'll call you and keep you on the line. Either way, it can cost you a lot of money in long distance telephone charges. What a ripoff, you say? That someone can call YOU like that and YOU get charged without your consent? You bet, but in this particular customer service issue, consumer advocacy in Japan is as outdated as last year's Hello Kitty toaster. So far all it has cost me is some sleep and agitation, but I am looking to get even. Any ideas? Let me know in the comments section below. Thanks!
So I've managed to procrastinate going to sleep for about half an hour now. My sleepiness hasn't abated, my contacts are drying out, my futon is still in the closet, I must take care of the dishes, brush my teeth and protect this gaping gash on my arm. . .
MOMMY!!